Yes, well. Personal.

Last night/this morning I suffered from a head splitting, can’t get out of bed, can’t look at my computer screen and certainly can’t drive migraine.

Which of course meant that I couldn’t go to class and turn in my Project #3 and my four pages of written essay. Actually it meant more that I couldn’t finish either of these things.

I’ve been so goddamn depressed lately too that it’s making me have no enthusiasm for almost anything. My life is going well, I have a good relationship with my boyfriend, I just got close to a new friend, my other friends are supportive people, my family seems to be getting on alright (well, okay, there’s still some issues there). But I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to run away or not exist.

I have a strong urge to drop out.

Which I’ve never had in my entire life ever.
I haven’t even ever considered it until this week. 

My course load is not especially difficult and yet I find myself floundering considerably.

God I just don’t want to deal with anything right now. 

Some of this is because of this. In which my scenic designer on Rent, someone who is sort of my friend, decided to basically tell me that he owns me and that I will jump when he says so. I’ve always thought myself a collaborative partner in design endeavors… But I guess that’s just not the case anymore. Now I’m little more than a low-level PA, apparently. 

God I just can’t shake these feelings.

What. is. wrong. with. me.